The New Guy
by Bolt Dragon Tsuki
Summary: The story of a farmer growing crops and taking care of animals... WRONG! The story of a boy wearing a trenchcoat and all sorts of guns at his arsenal trying to make Mineral Town a wreck. R
1. The Farmer

**The New Guy**

My newest fanfic is the story of a boy coming to take a farm and grow crops and take care of animals... WRONG! It's the story of a boy wearing a trenchcoat and has a suitcase with a water pistol in it that is going to create chaos in Mineral Town. I'm writing this for no reason, but if I do get any reviews, I'll make this one of my main fics.

Ep. 1 **The Farmer**

A boy with brown hair and eyes stood on a speed boat watching the ocean. He wore blue overalls and black shoes. He also had a brown trenchcoat, black sunglasses, and a silver briefcase.

He blinked, seeing the sight of a beach. He stood up and grinned. "Hello, Mineral Town."

As the boat docked, he hopped off and took a look around. It was a beach with two houses, some stairs, and a midget. A midget?

He walked to the midget and said, "Hello midget." The little man blinked and said, "No, I'm Mayor Thomas. You must be..." He took out a piece of paper and put on his glasses. "Uryu Ishida?" "No." "Akito Hayama?" "No." "Squall Leonhart?" "My name is Jack! JACK!" He roared so loud, he blew him away.

"Good riddence." Jack said. Then he took out his gunblade on his side (Revolver edition) and a magazine of Timber Maniacs and sat down. "Wonder what's taking the mayor so long?"

Someone ran down to the beach with a katana. She had brown hair, green eyes, purple jacket over white shirt, and brown shoes. "Why did you just fling the mayor all the ay to the mountains?!" She snapped.

Jack looked up. "You must be the mayor." He said. "You took too long." "I'm not the mayor!" She screamed. "You like to scream, don't you?" The girl got so angry she lunged at Jack. "Time to take out the secret weapon."

The girl flinched, stopping her attack. _What could he have in that briefcase_? She wondered. He took out a... WATER PISTOL! She dropped on the floor anime style.

"A water pistol?!" She screamed, running to him. He aimed the pistol in her eyes and BAM! "Ahhh! I'm blind!" She screamed.

"Now, shut up!" He yelled, grabbing his gunblade. He raised the blade and slashed her face! "AHHH!" She screamed louder, fanting.

The mayor ran back and said, "Jack, how could you... How DID you make her faint like that?" Jack grinned. "My name is Jack, a SeeD from Balamb Garden." "Really" "No."

Thomas looked at Karen's bloody face and said, "That mark might leave a scar, but it was well worth it." He looked at Jack and said, "I'll show you your home now."

* * *

He led Jack through the town to a huge farm. "Whoa! Lots of places to hack! It's all for me?" The mayor nodded. "Now, you're going to receive a big responsibility. You must now take care of this farm, raising animals and growing crops. Make friends with the townsfolk and who knows? Maybe you'll- ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!"

Jack had the Valiant at his side, shooting all the birds gathering his field. "Too many birds." He said, continuing to attack.

The mayor slapped his forehead and said, "Jack, come here and get these seeds." Jack turned and took the turnip seeds. "I hate turnips." Jack looked at Thomas, gripping the Valiant.

"AHH!" The mayor screamed, running out of the farm. "And stay out!" He screamed, continuing to shoot.

Jack's stomach started to growl. "I'm hungry." He walked to the inn for a drink.

* * *

He saw a variety of people in the inn, drinking. Jack wasn't so okay with this.

"DRINKING IS WRONG!" He had the Valiant and a water pistol on each of his hands, shooting. "AHHH!" They screamed. "Dad!" A girl yelled. She ran out a door and looked at the Shooter.

She had orange hair, tied up in a braid with a silver ribbon. She had blue eyes and wore blue overalls too. She had a buster sword in her hands. "Ann, save us!" Doug screamed.

Ann turned back to Jack. "You'll pay for ruining the bar." She growled. "Take this!"

Ann lifted the blade and swung as hard as she could. Jack jumped and aimed for her eyes with the water pistol. She split her blade into two and dodged. "My sword can split into different swords about up to 6." She smirked.

Jack tried to shoot her with the Valiant, but she dodged, and tried to slash him. He let go of the Valiant and grabbed his gunblade, blocking the blow.

She stared at him. "You would let go of a real gun insteadof a water pistol?" "This pistol is special. It never runs out." Jack grinned.

He tried to shoot her eyes, but again she dodged, clashing both her blades into his gunblade. He aimed for the eyes, but missed as she ducked.Ann tried to sweep kick him, but he jumped.

"Take this!" He squirted some water at her legs, making her slip and fall to the wooden floors of the inn. She was about to get up when Jack threatened her with his gunblade and water pistol. "Now, I want a cheeseburger with no pickles." He said.

**So what do you think. I added a lot of ideas from Final Fantasy VIII into this story for more action. I don't like the fact that most of the Harvest Moon stories are filled with mushy romance and love. What happened to action?!**


	2. Meeting the Townsfolk

**The New Guy**

**Another thing I hate is that I see plenty of fics with mushy romance and nothing about what I really want. Humor! Like SBester's fics, those are funny!**

Ep. 2 **Meeting the Townsfolk**

Jack awoke to the knocking to his door_. Who would wake up at this hour_? He wondered looking at his clock. He got up and opened the door.

A Chinese guy stood there, "Hello, I'm Won, a salesman. I was wondering if you could-AHH!" Jack started to shoot him with the Valiant! "If you're gonna sell me something, MAKE ME A SANDWICH!" He screamed as he ran.

* * *

Jack was already awake, so he got dressed to explore the town.

First, he visited the Blacksmith. "Hello, I'm Saibara Highwind, the son of the great Cid Highwind. This is my grandson Gray." Saibara was an old man, he had hair all around his face. He also wore green rags, yet Jack felt like he was a kind old man. Gray, however, was different. He wore a cap and yellow clothes and had a stern face. Jack didn't like his face, gripping his briefcase and the Valiant. "Hello." Gray said, making Jack set off like a trigger. "AHH!" Jack was screaming, shooting the whole Blacksmith with his gun. Saibara quickly grasped his spear and stopped Jack by stabbing him. "He's a kind boy." Saibara said to the bullet filled Gray as Jack fainted.

After he awoke, he found himself in a Poultry Farm. He saw a lot of chickens and eggs_. Looks like dinner_. Jack grinned, taking a whole bunch of eggs. "A thief!" He turned to see a pink haired look at him with a scared face. She blinked when she saw him_, Wow, he's cute_. "A thief?" Rick yelled with a pitch fork. He had brown hair a glasses. He also blinked when he saw him too. "YOU'RE THE GUY WHO ALMOST KILLED KAREN!" He screamed, running to him with the pitch fork. Jack just shot him once and he went down fast. The owner, Lillia, decided to let him keep the eggs anyway because he was a newcomer. She never paid any attention to Rick.

Next was the other farm. He met the guy who looked similar to Saibara, but not with the same fuzzy feeling. He also met Barley's granddaughter May. Jack looked all around the farm and decided to keep a horse, but Barley wouldn't let him. Guess what he did.

After he made the ranch a shooting rink, he decided to skip the inn for a few reasons, you know.

Next. he went to Aja's Winery. He didn't really like Manna speaking his ears out so, he grabbed a vial of wine and drank up. "Are you sure you won't get drunk, cause the first time I drank was..." She just continued to speak and speak so much that Jack kissed her to make her shut up. "My wife!" Duke screamed, grabbing a gun and started to shoot. Jack doesn't get drunk easily, so he dodged and shot him back. When Jack finally escaped, he asked Manna how she felt. She replied, "I think I'm falling in love again."

Next was the library. Jack didn't really like Mary and her family. Mary was into books, Basil was into plants, and Anna wasn't. He got bored, and went to the library and took ALL the books about guns.

Next was a house. He met Ellen and Stu. Ellen couldn't mve her legs, but Jack wouldn't hear of this. He grabbed Stu and with the gunblade, chopped off his legs! Jack started to replace her legs with Stu's as Stu screamed. When he finished, Ellen stood slowly and felt short because Stu's legs are short. But Ellen then jumped for joy and ran out of the house as Stu screamed.

When he got to mayor's and Harris's house, he asked, "Do you have any dreams or goals?" "World Domination!" Jack yelled.

He broke into the Supermarket and held the water pistol and the Valiant aimed for Jeff and Sasha. "What do you want from us?!" Sasha shrieked. "This time I want a Farmer Boys's Hamburger with no pickles! I hate those!"

He went to the clinic afterwards. He met Elli and Doctor Alex. "You should paint the clinic." Jack suggested. "If I do, the clinic will stink." Alex answered.

After he shot the whole clinic down, he went to the church. "Ahh, a Christian church." He said. "Nope, this is a Harvest goddess church.

After that building was torn to pieces, he found a small house filled with midgets. "The midget had babies!" Jack stared in awe. "Hi!" One walked to him. Jack smiled.

BOOM!

"AHH!" The sprites ran out of the hous as Jack continued to smash that sprite with his briefcase.

When Jack walked home, he wrote in his new diary.

Spring 2, Year 1

_I met a bunch of people. They weren't so kind. Better get to work tomorrow._

He fell asleep after that. He slept through the chaos in the town.

**I might not delete this story only if I get reviews!**


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